Saturday, July 4, 2009,7/04/2009 01:52:00 PM
Gay Anyone?
Everyone has had a Gay experience in his life, me too, but not exactly an experience for me though. It was Mussorie sometime in 07', me and my bro were just walking down the Mall Road, doing GUY stuff (bird watching) and we did all these things with 'permission' from our elders (trust me on this!). Probably what made our elders attitude change to 'cool with it', was that the hotel owner had once commented, "I have been here since past 40 years, walked down the road innumerable times and i am still single!" But believe me guys, those 200 metres was the only part of Mussorie me and my brother liked!

So, back to the story, me and my bro were walking down the road, checking out stuff; when two dudes holding hands walk past by us. One of them wearing a white jacket, flashes a thumbs up sign and a smile to us. I stood there suddenly, probably my bro did not understand what that was for. I started to explain 'it' to that dude, as he simply walked away without hearing my explanation. It took me two minutes to get a grip on things and well we continued doing what we had come out to do ;)

Meanwhile, i had asked a friend of mine to check my profile on orkut and to tell me if it felt like...u know...GAY! The reason behind this was, i had been receiving a lot of friend requests from HAPPY people, which i would kindly reject. Later, i realised why those request were coming, i had to simply change my answer of Sexual Orientation from No Answer to Straight!Somehow while making the profile, i did not delve too much thought on that subject.

But all this does not mean i am homophobic. Infact i totally support a person to realise what is right for him/her. No, these people are not mentally retarded, they simply cannot help it if they are not attracted to people of opposite sex. They are not SICK. Why would you want to force a guy who is gay to marry a girl, when you know it would ruin two lives not one. It is you who is sick in that case. They are human beings, they have equal rights to select their partner as much as you have.
Those who stick to their favourite point of going against the laws of nature, should take a break. If they think they are such laws that exist, then MAN has broken uncountable number of such laws. I am sure we have enough problems up our sleeves instead of worrying about or deciding for someone else's orientation.
I personally support the Delhi High Court decision, and i hope our leaders and health workers open their minds in time, to see that legalising this will only help in their fight against AIDS and other issues.

Broaden your outlook, dont treat them as outcasts.


posted by Nits
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Wednesday, June 3, 2009,6/03/2009 08:30:00 PM
Attest: at-test
v. at-test-ed, at-test-ing, at-tests

1. To affirm to be correct, true, or genuine: The date of the painting was attested by the appraiser.
a. To certify by signature or oath: attest a will.
b. To certify in an official capacity.
3. To supply or be evidence of: Her fine work attests her ability.
4. To put under oath.

How difficult can it be to get one copy attested?huh?
Well you just need to find a SEO(Special Executive Officer)nearby you, take your originals and the copies and get em' attested. Sounds simple, right?
So here i was looking for a SEO in my area, did not know any, so went to the police station.
Saw a havaldar sitting on a chair, asked him to direct me to the right officer, there starts a barrage of questions! Why? What? When? (Abey Pandu tujhe kya karna hai!) His attention was diverted to another table, where his colleague was listening intently to a girl's sorry story, the girl seemed to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown! Nevertheless i caught his attention again, asking him to direct me to the right authority. He suggested i see a 3-star officer, here comes Mr. Ingle in the picture.
I stood at the entrance to his cabin, and indicated to him with actions and one word 'attest', what my intention was. Mr. Andu Pandu(thats what i am going to call him from now onwards) decided to respond in the same way. With frantic hand actions he asked me to return from whichever part of earth i had come from! I asked the havaldar again for directions, on his insistence i went back to Mr. Andu Pandu a bit more determined and more words on my lips.
Mr. Ingle, i said, It will just take a moment please, i really need to attest these copies. Mr. Andu Pandu was in no mood to relent(sipping a cup of tea). He said, he was not authorised to do it. But arent you a three star officer? i asked with a puzzled look. Probably taken back by my boldness, he started looking out for explanations, i am a YOUNG 'person', i dont have 10 yrs experience!
He asked me to look out for SEO's in my area, on my asking him to direct me to one, these were his golden words, 'Wheel finds its own way....samjha?...kya samjha??? and yes here i was feeling stupid, felt like mocking at his egoistic attitude and i replied what it meant in hindi. Well Mr. Andu Pandu does not stop here, You are young, ghumo dhoop me, dhoondo SEO ko, fir bhi nahi mila, tab aao mere pass!
I thanked him for his wise views, and left!
Got the job done later thanks to a NGO, whose name i should mention here, not only for helping me out, but i am too compelled with a strong urge, you would understand that urge on hearing his name...well it is "Gappya"! Even finding Gappya was a task in itself, first i was directed to some Salim Bhai, who as it turned out was very famous, did not find Salim Bhai, but found another good samaritarian, who made a phone call to Gappya for me, i mean what could have he got in return..still he did that!
One call and here Gappya was stamping my papers with the originals as reference.
Today i wonder, it would have hardly taken Mr. Andu Pandu 1 min to do the job and considering the way he was sipping his tea, he was pretty much free. Still ego-issues did not let him do it and caused further delay. But i rather see the bright side of this, Well has bought me back to the blog!



posted by Nits
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Friday, December 5, 2008,12/05/2008 10:27:00 AM
Break from active blogging...:(
Have been terribly busy of late(i hate to say that, but true)!
Final year exams have started, yesterday was my first paper. It was a tough cookie but managed to crack it, actually i was disappointed by the paper but when i spoke to other friend's of mine, i realised i was better placed so that gave me few cheers!

I cant believe i have to say this but i have to! This charachter will have to take a break from active blogging, but dont mind friends, i will continue blog-hopping and commenting..:-)

Cheers and keep smiling...

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posted by Nits
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Saturday, November 15, 2008,11/15/2008 11:36:00 AM
Solace after all!

It starts with a car chase beautifully directed and co-ordinated!
We have never known Bond this way before. The oldies may continue to swear with previous bond(s), but what they have not realised is that this is the real bond, and he cannot get better than this! Lets take BROSNAN for instance, as my friend calls him, he is a lady killer!
ohh yea most definitely, but he seemed to be too scared to deal with cruel brutal violence!
The Bond makers realised that it was time bond changed, as the number of its loyalists had declined over the years!

The highlight of this movie is ACTION, which i felt was directed in JASON BOURNE style.
The action was jarring, not pleasing to the eyes would make you feel giddy after some time, but top notch coupled with superb fight scenes! The arrogance exuded by Daniel gets passed on to you. A lot of similarities can be found in previous bond movies(Sean Connery) and this. You would expect Bond to be Mao-suited and having cards in his hands, the previous movie was full of it. Comparisons have been drawn between BROSNAN's boat chase on the river THAMES and DANIEL's. the difference is BROSNAN does it with a completely modified cruiser(land and water) and DANIEL does it with a simple fisherman speed boat! :-O

The movie is not all about stunts its about vengeance! Sparkling conversations with M is also the highlight of this movie!
Basically a must watch for action junkies and bond fans!


posted by Nits
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Thursday, November 6, 2008,11/06/2008 07:24:00 PM
A look at the globe thru dude
(Dude comes by fluttering, repeatedly driving his nose, through his wings looking completely stupid and then looking up to me.)

Me: Man when will you stop doing that, it looks yucky!
Dude: Ahh first of all news bro O-BA-MA O-BA-MA!
Me: yea i know, first black president and the ramifications..blah blah!
Dude: What blah blah, i am too excited for what is in store for us peace loving birds!
Me: Mebbe more wars!
Dude(digs again in his wings): I hope not, i lost my brothers in that war!
Me: Ohh cmon, you are just a pigeon, how did you loose your brothers???
Dude: They where working for americans in a top secret message delivering programme!
(winks at me and digs again!)
ME: Will you stop doing that!
Dude: What!? you have water to take bath, we have to travel miles to get a source!
Me: Ok, now you are boring and being disgusting, temme something i can be proud of...
Dude: I doubt there is much you can be proud of, you know bombs blowing off, regionalism
protests, you guys dont seem to be indians anymore! ohh yes but there is something, i
guess Indians are ready to kick some Australian Butts!
Me: ohh yea baby, now you are talking!
Dude: When will this economy come back on track!
Me: As if it affects you!
Dude: You betcha!
Me: What? how?
Dude: See it's simple, if people have money they can afford to buy some extra grains and feed
it to us, as the GOL-NAKKA!
Me: Man all you do is dirty our buildings, shit at convenient places and breed!
Dude: Hey now you are being racist!
Me: Ok temme one thing worthwhile you have done??
Dude: that not true..we have..ehh...done... for secret service agency of America!? (Bah)
Me:Everybody works for the USA!
Dude: ok..we...err...mate????
Me: Ok, this conversation ends here!

P.S.: I guess was having writer's block...or mebbe VIVA blk! :-O


posted by Nits
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Monday, October 20, 2008,10/20/2008 09:09:00 PM
It was his test, he remembered what his teacher had told him the day after he received the 'Best Cadet Award'......."Everything is a test"
Nash decided to buckle up, he recorded a message on the tape and transmitted it at a radio frequency of 90 Mhz. The message kept playing on its own. It was a SOS. " This is Captain John Nash, master of ship Queen Mary, our co-ordinates are 12°32′45′′N 48°08 , we have been hijacked. Request immediate assistance." He knew, he had no other option; he did not even have a pistol to defend his ship and crew against the RPG's of the pirates! He had heard from the last port he had docked in, that a U.S. Navy battleship is conducting a military exercise in nearby seas and was asked to not to come in their way. But now, he hoped they did come in his way!
Nash instructed the electrician to put up a white cloth on the pole, thereby indicating surrender. All he had to do was to take care of the crew. Four men of African descent armed with guns and choppers were aboard the ship now and commanded it.
The taller one made frantic actions moving his hands vigorously in air and barely managed to say "HANDS ON YOUR HEADS." He signalled John, asking him to get in a separate room with the chief officer. They were taken in the navigation room. Rest of the crew were bundled up in rooms downstairs which were meant for cadets. The taller guy just had a looked at the radio transmitter and indicated Nash to play it. Nash knew he was no match for the tall guy. He quietly obeyed his instruction. The tall guy looked at the Captain who returned a very straight and cold look. The guy did not react to the message. It was then that he and Chief Officer understood that they did not understand English!
The guy signalled Nash with his customary wild gestures and frantic signalling that he stop transmitting the signal. Nash decided to do otherwise, hoping that the guy would not be able to understand. He pressed the power off button, it was here when guy let his guard down, and he turned towards the Willey asking him to sit on the chair opposite to him. It was during this fraction of the second that Nash swiftly pressed the power on button again!
The CO had in meanwhile recovered from his stupor. He understood this was real. That he was a pawn and now the game was on between the pirates and someone else, but who would this someone else be? The negotiators? The company, to which the ship belonged? Or Captain Nash!

Meanwhile about 120 nautical miles from the hijacked ship….
-“Sir we have an incoming message from unknown frequency!”
-“Get it to me”

The taller guy instructed CO to write an e-mail with their demands. He handed him a note…..
‘Ask your company for $50 million, explain them the situation. They have 24 hrs to get back. No negotiations will be entertained. Pay up or see number of crew members reducing with every passing day.’
The CO showed the note to the captain. Nash was shocked but he showed no exclaim on his face. He looked straight into the pirate’s eyes. The look would unsettle even the biggest wrestlers in the world. The pirate stood up and gave a look of being annoyed. But actually that piercing look scared him. It was said of Nash that he could look straight into someone’s eyes and reach right to his soul. The pirate just got a demonstration of that. The pirate decided to move Nash away to some secluded spot. He understood that he was too gutsy to be scared by guns. The ship was now commanded by the CO. Though he had just finished his watch all night but he was not feeling sleepy by any means. It was time when he would be too scared to even ask for a toilet break!
The CO was commanded to turn the ship west and increase the speed to 20 knots. Meanwhile Nash knew the company would never come up with that much of an amount. He wondered what was stored in for him and his crew.
21 hrs later, an e-mail from the company’s back office said, “Our top brass is considering the position, we request that the crew remains unharmed.”
Meanwhile, phone calls where being made, contacts where being looked for. Permission where being asked for. CNN meanwhile was running a whole news story on the hijack.

Something was different, captain thought. He had heard this noise before. But it was definitely not from the ship. After working for 9 yrs on the ship he knew, what kinds of sounds it made! It was more of a rumbling sound. He saw the pirates getting frantic; they reached for their mobile transceivers and to his delight he saw a U.S. Navy helicopter go pass right above his head. Then he heard gunshots, he hoped it was from the copter, but it was from the barrel of the guns the pirates where carrying. They aimed at the copter. The copter managed to escape unscathed. It was a recon operation. The pirates immediately moved Nash and Willey in Willey’s cabin and locked it from outside. Nash had a gut feeling right from the start, this is going to end sooner than it started.
An hour later he heard more rumbling sounds, followed by firing. He could hear machine guns pierce the air with sharpness and accuracy. An hour later of fighting he heard the sound of helicopter increasing. He thought probably the copter was landing on the deck. There was noise outside his door. the tall guy opened the door with fierce might. Kept his pistol on John’s head and moved forward. John guessed remaining pirates where dead and he had run out of ammunition. This was the pirate’s last chance. The pirate signalled John to walk with him as he locked Willey back in the cabin. He and the pirate where on the deck now facing heavily armoured American soldiers. John knew they were trained especially for this situation. It amazed the soldiers, when they saw the calm look on John’s face. Especially the sniper who was back in the copter which was about 40 meters from the ground now. But he had to focus now on the pirate. It was over in a minute! All the soliers on the deck had to do was divert the pirate’s attention and one shot, pirate was dead! But it was at this moment or probably for the first time, John had his heart in his mouth!

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posted by Nits
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Monday, September 29, 2008,9/29/2008 10:42:00 PM
Captain John Nash was wondering on how calm this part of Indian Ocean has been since few days, but something was not right about it. He had just taken over from the Chief Officer to navigate his ship through the ‘gulf of Aden’(between Somali and Yemen), so that the CO can catch a good night’s rest for himself.
[It was 6 a.m. but the captain was awake early, he knew the CO would be exhausted after navigating the ship at night. But maybe it was his family that did not let him sleep. He had been 4 months on the ship and away from his wife and 1 yr old daughter, who had even started walking (as said by his wife on the phone). He missed the cries of his daughter and occasional laughter, which would fill his heart with unbounded joy when he made funny faces at her. He missed the touch of his wife, Just a month more to go (he reminded himself). 31 yr old Nash was by no means an experienced Master but he had the confidence, ability to lead a pack in crisis.
A sweeper on the ship had made a cardinal error by considering the captain as young and weak and he simply disobeyed his orders. The captain’s punishment had more than shock surprised the cadets, CO, and other officers. The cadets from that day onwards started looking up to him. The CO did not question the captain’s authority anymore. But Nash other than being responsible was fun-loving (which suggested that he was young). On quite days, they celebrated with crates of beer and games and of course ragging the cadets which was a part of career in Navy. They believed this (ragging) made them tough nuts, which was necessary when you are on ship away from family for long months. The cadets were sometimes made to dance to the tunes of old classic songs in Tribal Wear and to say the least photographed doing it! Every cadet had a crossing the line (equator) ceremony to perform! The ceremony would go according to the captain’s wishes. In this case Nash made one cadet a guy and other a beautiful girl, wherein the guy is trying to woo her girl. The girl has to try her best to avoid the guy! the play which used to unfold would have everybody gripping their stomachs with laughter.
He wondered what a lucrative contract he had ended up with the American Company. It never occurred to him that taking an Oil Tanker off Somalia would pay him enough to live luxuriously for an entire year! But nothing had prepared him for what was coming.]

Captain John decided to have a good look at the ship by going at the bridge, the place from where the ship could be commanded (navigation room from where a ship is conned). Everything seemed smooth. He could see vast expanse of the sea, other than few skiffs here and there. It did struck him that a skiff and so deep in the ocean! They had definitely been offloaded from a big mother ship probably a big fishing boat. He tried spotting fishing nets so as to avoid them, but could not find any. He noticed the boats getting close to his ship without much of an effort. He paused for another moment. And then he realized what was going on, at first he could not believe it. He called for high powered binoculars from a cadet. He asked the 2nd officer to wake up the Chief Officer. 2nd officer suggested, “Sir Officer Wiley must be asleep in his cabin…” Captain interjected, “tell him it’s an emergency!”
Nash did not waste any time he immediately sent off a SOS to nearby (newly formed) Somalian coast guard, but did not expect an immediate aid. He had to do something now, he wished he never had to do; he had to tell his crew members that ‘They are under a Pirate Attack!’
The skiffs were connected to each other via a long thin rope, which very much unknown to the captain his ship pulled. The ship was right at the centre of the rope pulling the two skiffs along. Thus the skiffs came close to each other as the angle of the rope started decreasing(as the ship moved further pulling the skiffs side by side, forming a triangle with the ship at its apex and the skiffs forming the two sides!). The rope was very thin and not clearly visible considering the size of the ship. The trap had been laid and the captain with his crew walked right into it! It was a work of a genius, since the region had seen its first pirate attack and unfortunately for Nash, his ship was the first one to come under fire.
The CO cried, “They have rocket launchers!” The Captain in complete disbelief had first thought that they may have small arms. It was his greatest test yet…..

To be continued..:-P
This is my first attempt with a proper story...hope it’s not bad!

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posted by Nits
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Sunday, August 3, 2008,8/03/2008 02:08:00 PM
All that and Luck!
The temperature was hovering around 22 degrees, it was just the perfect day actually one of the best days of his life, and he got the love of his life today. After months of wooing, she finally said yes. It was this time of the day when he wanted to relax from all his worries. He heard talks of his promotion to the level of senior manager (which he insisted to call as rumours), though he knew in his hearts, that he was destined for that promotion.

He felt a sense of satisfaction running through his veins as he felt the water moving across his body as he floated with his backside facing the floor and he shut his eyes trying to block away all the bad memories since this was his day and nothing could take it away from him.

As the evening turned into a silent night, he realised he was the only guy in the pool, a rarity considering the fact that it was a public club and very few people in Mumbai had a pleasure of swimming in a pool alone! It made Rajiv feel like a private pool, the feeling itself was rare since only uber-rich could afford a private pool in Mumbai.
As the clouds gathered it begin to drizzle, as first few raindrops made contact with his eyes. As if the rain gods were showering blessings on him. He decided to do few strokes here and there and admired the clarity of water; the club boys had done a good job today to keep the pool clean. The boys were chatting away among themselves, they knew Rajiv and that he was an expert swimmer and hence there was no reason to keep an eye on the pool.

Suddenly he noticed a wriggly black thing floating on the water and moving quickly towards him, but still he was too happy to worry about it. But he could not possibly ignore it for any longer. It moved fast and it moved towards him, giving him probably 6 seconds to react. As it got nearer and nearer, Rajiv was sure what it was, it was a snake! He knew he could swim well, out of instinct he started swimming in the other direction but out of fear he found himself swimming far slower than he would normally have. Even if he shouted for help, the boys were too far to reach out to him.
But the reptile was too quick for him; Rajiv simply stopped swimming and shut his eyes. The reptile as if sensing that there is a human ahead of him, decide to change its direction(considering stuff that humans have done to the other earthly creatures) and all Rajiv did was heave a sigh of relief- Was it a non-poisonous snake????
He was smart enough to not to stay in the pool further. But was it a sign of good things to come?

Ohh yea after all it was ‘ his’ day!


posted by Nits
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Saturday, July 26, 2008,7/26/2008 10:03:00 PM
Terrorism raises ts ugly head again!

Mangled remains of a cycle, packets strewn all over, blood splashed on the walls or roads as if someone has just drawn a magnificent painting on a canvas. Except that the canvas was Ahemdabad. We could see the motto of our ‘enemies’ or rather enemies of mankind coming alive as the calendar shifts from 25th to 26th july. Can see it as a monster trying hard to win a losing battle, but in reality showing us its real weakness! All we have to be is in KORN’s words ‘Hold on...Be strong!’
I don’t blame the authorities for not being able to follow up on a warning that is an e-mail, which warns rather vaguely. All i can do is sit here type a fucking blog wondering what i could have done. And the answer is nothing, plainly nothing. All we can do is just sit on our couches, sip tea and look at our men being killed as if a story is being written by a brilliant author and we are the readers! We sit here seeing the hunter get hunted! And what can we do? Just maintain calm and peace...simple isn’t it!
Anyway i have written this blog all over again coz the first time i wrote this piece it was way too strong, you know what i mean...thankfully i did not get carried away with emotion!
I hope with full belief that the ones injured be fine as soon as possible and those dead, may their souls rest in peace!


posted by Nits
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Monday, July 21, 2008,7/21/2008 10:16:00 PM
Bollywood Masala!
The last post did bring in some criticism from the female folk(in form of written comments as well as verbal!), well that was expected though!
What surprised me, were further requests to write about adult ahem stuff! Well dude it was a one-off attempt with it!

Due to virtue of some fate i chanced upon an old bollywood movie starring the beautiful yesteryear actress Hema Malini. It somehow always happens that, whenever i wish to see a movie on the idiot box i end up watching only its end & from there i intend to understand what would have conspired in the beginning of the plot! So here i was watching the end of this movie (whose name i have obviously forgotten!). Hema Malini ends up on a truck which takes her all the way to villain’s base camp!
Now here is the interesting part, i did not get why the villain’s base camp has always to be in a cave with an automated door and it never ceases to wonder me, on how he would manage to keep his army(all clad in green uniform) in a hidden cave which is conspicuous by its absence, and probably has not been discovered till a hero comes to the rescue of his beloved or in some cases his mother and small sister(who are usually used as pawns in this game of LIFE & DEATH :p)!!!

Well okay, he lives in a cave with his army, big deal. But how did he manage to keep all those machines making beeping sounds with little variations and those LED lights blinking on them regularly!
Ok well he has managed to keep them, but what does he do of it?????
I mean does he plan to launch a rocket?!? Or plan a mission on the moon!
Well movies(not only from bollywood) are strange...what the heck we still love the way the hero comes to the rescue of the hostages and spoils the evil planzzz of the villain and yeah the part when the policemen arrive, not to mention when everything has already been taken care of by our favourite hero!

I am sure there must be a lot of unusual stuff, you would have in mind about our bollywood movies!
Whatsay guys?


posted by Nits
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